Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts

Commitment to Life


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Miracles do happens and it had happened in my life too. I am from doctor’s family and I am not an exception to it. My father and mother both are doctor and they have been my inspiration, had sowed the seed to be a doctor in me. Medicine is in our blood; I mean the science and do not go by the literal meaning.



I was too small to remember those times but could never forget those flashes of memories, deep seated in my mind. What age I was? I cannot say but how could I forget my father’s face with butterfly rashes , unexplained fever, body ache, joint pain, and his sufferings, which he never expressed but felt. He had been taken to the one of the best hospitals for the treatment but those qualified doctors could not diagnose the problem he had. He had admitted to the well-known hospitals but they failed to understand the disease. My mother was the only strength and we were the only source of inspiration to him. In the day, my mother used to work in the clinic and in the night, she used to stay in the hospital to look after my father. It had been a tough time or I can say testing time.



A few so-called doctors declared that he would not survive and he is suffering from SLE[Systemic Lupus Erythromatoses],SLE is a complex disorder affecting a predominantly young population and shares similarities with HIV infection as regards the propensity for multiple organ involvement, potentially life-threatening episodes, and need for sophisticated monitoring. SLE is an autoimmune disease , a collagen disease which was controlling my father’s body and it had affected kidney, heart, liver, spleen ….. He had heart attack a couple of times. My mother used to cry alone but never affected us instead showered her unconditional love. She was determined and never quit.Our relatives never supported us in those times though my parent helped them in their worst times.


Doctors declared that his condition is critical, but my parents were ready to face anything and have full faith in god. My father wanted to live for his wife and children but he had a weak body yet a strong mind. He had been on  heavy dose of steroids, he had been taking those medicines for years and even today, he is on maintenance dose. He along with the medicines took Ayurvedic medicine to build immunity against diseases, started yoga; he really had worked hard to live healthy life. My mother helped him in recovering and she is Sati of modern era for me.



One incidence still pondering in my mind, when I was small and my father was suffering from that disease. Because of heavy dose of steroids, he used to get often irritated and angry so he asked me to bring a glass of water for him. I was too busy in playing with my doll and I did not listen to him, that made him angry and suddenly had a tight slap on my face. I was too sensitive, even raising voice and change in tone was enough to make me cry. I went in the corner and started sobbing as Papa always considered me apple of his eyes and I thought that how could he hit me when he loves me so much…….he hit me that means he does not love me anymore. I was weaving these thoughts in my mind; my father had been watching my expressions and absorbed what I was going through. It brought tears in his eyes and he came to me, sat on the floor to accompany me. He said ''beta I am sorry'' and he started weeping for his helplessness; it was the moment I felt ashamed of myself and thought that I am responsible for bringing tears in his eyes, how could I thought like that. I wiped away his tears and gave him a tight hug.This hate poem will show how much I hated that fatal disease called SLE.


SLE….I hate you


For making my father sick


I wanted to sit on my father’s shoulder


But you gave him joint pain


I wanted to play with him in park


But you gave him photosensitivity


I wanted to share my emotional things with him


But you made him emotional than me


You have taken his years


And all you gave him…


The suffering


Of body and mind


You affected his all organs


Used his body


Without his permission


You never knocked the door


Entered whenever we tried to smile


You have taken our smiles


Our hopes


BUT,


Its enough


We will not entertain you anymore


My father is strong enough to give you a hard kick.


We together, the family will throw you out


Hate you for taking our family time


Just go to hell SLE





Life had taught us tough lessons when we were too innocent for that. Thanks to God that time took a turn and my father recovered from that disease.A miracle by god's grace and my belief in god became stronger hence forth.


Despite his health conditions, he provided us the platform to show our talents. He encouraged us to strive for excellence; he inspired us to be better a person. He inculcate the positive vibes in us, he never knew the word impossible and told us the same. With god’s grace, he is with us and inspiring us, the way he did in the past. He is the best human being, father, husband…..and the best doctor who gives time to his patient and treats poor patients free. He had been a patient; empathize with his patient because he really understands what his patients are going through. I am so proud of him that not only he is treating his patients in best possible ways but also he helped himself to take control of his own life. Hats off! To you PAPA





                                 ‘’Strong will power is fatal to the disease’’



Women Power?


Happy International Women Day
























I am not generalizing entire mass of society but I am pertaining this to the majority of the people who show their shocked faces when they would be informed that its a baby girl. I have seen educated people with their masked faces try to hide expressions but become mute for a while. People behave like that because they know that ''The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl." ~Shirley Chisholm. Its very sad state of affair that female feticide stills  happens in this so-called modern era and people kill their daughters, how could they do so?


The psychology behind this approach is  they have seen girl dying in womb, if given a chance to survive than she might become pray for the sexually deprived cruel species , that species would never look at her age but on gender, they might destroy her zest for living and may be she would be thrown in gutters or deserted area; left her crying in midst of life and death and the next day she would become breaking news for news channel and if not then might be selled in masala news.
If she is fortunate to escape from these turmoil, then she would get married and burnt for dowry by her in laws. Our daily newspaper says it all.


Just to release stress , I would like you to go in the past and think about Sita mata, daughter of king Janak and wife of Lord Shri Ram, she proved herself throughout her life, being a princess, a queen and wife of Lord Shri Ram  suffered throughout her life and given agniparaksha to prove that she is pure for the sake of Maryada. I firmly believe in god but its an ironical state that women has been treated like this from ages.

Now I would like to share with you a story; based on real life. ...I have been told by my friend a story of two women belonged to a huge giant family. Let me give them name kiran and simran. Simran was a selfless lady, would always devoted her time to meet the demands and needs of that family and she was happy.Family members took her for granted, she has been treated like a housekeeper and not as a family member but she was too innocent and so much involved in all that, that she never felt it. But when division of the family and division of house happened; she lost herself completely; forgot all her roles as a wife,mother,daughter in law,sister in law....and went into deep depression .She started showing extreme behaviour ....she used to be submissive at one time and at the other moment she used to burst in a fit of rage. Can you imagine how it would affected her kids, their childhood was at stake and they became insecure yet mature....too mature for their age. I have read in psychology that mother transfer her fears,anxiety and other emotions as well and that happened with those kids too. After suffering so much in her life, she silently left the world,the world which became hell for her .

The other women in the same family was Kiran and she was the lady of the house,though she was living in the same joint family but the from the very beginning she drew lines and never worked for other family members.She was focussed on her family and her kids and was just a mother and wife. She was the boss of the house and smart in handling matters.She used to give orders to Simran and get all her work done.She is still alive,happy and healthy even in the oldage.Nobody ever dared to take advantage of her.Her story reminded me the famous quote by Roseanne Barr
''The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. ''


That was the story of two different women playing their roles differently.So tell me What is the moral of the story?this question I would like to be answered by the readers.


Forget about the gender thing, I think both belongs to the same planet and must share a harmonious relationship by understanding and respecting each other.With that note I would like to share this quote
“The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own. There is no other way,” by Betty Friedan.






I am tagging here my  blogger friends to participate in this contest.




MOTHER-CHILD RELATIONSHIP



Mother not only give birth to the baby but influence personality development of a child.Mother –child relationships falls into two categories
1)Mothers who are affectionate with kids and allow enough autonomy build friendly relationship with their kids
2) Mothers who inflict punishment and ignore their child instill negative behaviour in their child.

Mother’s behaviour directly affect their child’s behaviour as depicted in the table below:

Mother’s behaviour                      Child’s behaviour


Overprotective,dominant


Shy,submissive,anxious

Over indulgent
Aggressive,demanding and display of temper tantrums
Under affectionate

Well behaved but shy ,may be unable to cooperate and cry easily due to low confidence level

Rejecting
Aggressive,overactive and disobedient

Authoritarian
Evasive and dawdling



Message from above text:
Motherhood is’nt easy, it start with pain and need lot of pains and responsibilities in raising healthy child with a smile on face and innocence in eyes.Preserve their smile ,love them unconditionally.People says to mothers that your love spoiled your child but I believe that it is lack of love that spoil the child.Bring up your child the way you wanted to be loved in your childhood.

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BLOGGING makes me feel light hearted.To me its a medium for the outflow of emotions which are woven around me from quite sometimes and were controlling me and hovering my mind and soul.
Oh! I am so relaxed now.
Definately, it has therapeutic effect.So keep healthy and happy blogging.

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Welcome to my blog....I am Dr Pratibha Singh and I am trying to create awareness in people so that people can have healthy and beautiful smile.Smile improves our face value and giving that wonderful smile is our[dental] profession.So keep reading and updated.
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